INT SHOT--SNYDER'S BASEMENT. DAY.

The basement is lit from above by a flickering fluorescent light fixture. There are a lot of crates, boxes, and a few dusty rabbit cages scattered about. The walls are adorned with various monster masks from around the world. Everything is very dusty. A large sewer pipe juts into the room near the floor, partially obscured by boxes.

ICKIS, OBLINA, KRUMM, SAM and SHEILA enter the basement through a large door at the top of a flight of stairs, which they begin descending slowly.

SAM
You know, I think it's weirder down here than upstairs.

OBLINA
Actually, I rather like it.

ICKIS
I don't think that Snyder human's down here.

GROMBLE (OS)
No...But I am.

OBLINA
Is that the Gromble?

GROMBLE
It's not the Shroink. Now get me out of here or you all fail!

KRUMM
It IS the Gromble!

SHEILA
Your teacher? He sure is cranky.

The monsters push aside some boxes to reveal the GROMBLE, locked in a rabbit cage.

ICKIS
Are you all right, sir?

GROMBLE
Of course I'm not all right, you oozing maggot! I'm locked in a cage!

ICKIS
(to SAM)
He's glad to see us.

GROMBLE
Oblina! Krumm! Ickis! What are you doing with these humans?

KRUMM
They're helping us.

SAM
Yeah, you weird-looking cretin!

GROMBLE
...Well, at least they have manners.

OBLINA
Sir, how did you get in this cage?

GROMBLE
(sighs)
I followed Snyder all the way here...he must have seen me. The last thing I remember is the back of a frying-pan...

SAM
(picking up a dented frying-pan)
This must be it.

ICKIS Well, let's get you out.

ICKIS picks up OBLINA and begins to use her as a crowbar on the door of the cage.

SHEILA Maybe there's some tools or something down here.

SAM puts her camera on a box next to the cage and follows SHEILA to a long cluttered table. They begin searching through the junk.

OBLINA
...It won't...budge...

Suddenly the cage flips over and lands on top of ICKIS and OBLINA. KRUMM pushes it off.

KRUMM
Well, we're not getting anywhere.

SNYDER appears at the top of the stairs with his attache case.

SNYDER
That's an understatement.

SAM and SHEILA abandon the table and rush back over to the monsters. SNYDER turns and locks the door after himself with a set of keys.

SNYDER
You girls aren't helping out those creatures, are you?

SHEILA
Well...

SAM
We're reporters.

SHEILA
We came to interview you, but--

SAM
--the door was locked, so we--

SNYDER
Reporters! You girls?

SHEILA
We work for Channel Four!

SNYDER
...And that's your van, then, parked in my hibiscus patch?

SAM
Uhhh...No?

ICKIS
Nice save.

GROMBLE
Mr. Snyder, as an upstanding member of the monster community, I demand that you release my students and myself at once.

SHEILA
Hey--what about us?

SNYDER kneels by the GROMBLE's cage. The other monsters back away.

SNYDER
Release you? Not a chance! I know who you are! You're the one responsible for frightening people all over the world for hundreds of years. You teach them, don't you? You teach them how to scare! You're called Gromble, is that right?

GROMBLE
Have we met before?

SNYDER
No. But I did meet one of your students, when he popped out from under my bed one night when I was but a child.

GROMBLE
(pondering)
...Must have been Gnebbeq. He never did anything but pop out from under beds. Lost his Monster Manual that way.

SNYDER opens his attache case and pulls out a Monster Manual.

ICKIS
He's got a Monster Manual!

OBLINA
This is terrible!

SHEILA
What's a Monster Manual?

SNYDER
(flipping through the Manual)
It's a simply marvelous book. Tells you all you ever wanted to know about Monsters and how they go about scaring people. Instructions, diagrams...

GROMBLE
You must get rid of that Manual at once! It is not for human eyes!

SNYDER
Well, perhaps I will throw it out once my new sewer forces all your kind out of the city. I certainly won't need it for your picture--

SNYDER shows everyone a full-page illustration of the GROMBLE, looking very fierce, with the title 'Our Headmaster' underneath it. SAM slowly reaches out and turns on the camera.

SNYDER (CONT'D)
--because you'll be stuffed and mounted in my trophy room for me to look at whenever I please!

SNYDER slams the book shut and puts it back in the attache case.

SAM
It's people like you that give humans a bad name!

SHEILA
(pointing to the sewer pipe)
Look!

SIMON, looking very bedraggled, climbs out of the sewer pipe and stumbles through the boxes. He looks like he has been down in the sewers for years rather than just one day.

OBLINA
...Simon?

SIMON
(pointing at SNYDER)
You! You left me to rot in those stinking sewers!

SNYDER
What are you talking about? I HIRED you to rot in the sewers!

SIMON
I never trusted you! You, with your pinstripe tie and fancy suitcase...

SNYDER
It's an attache case.

SIMON
See? See that?..And you!

SIMON points at OBLINA and ICKIS. KRUMM is no longer anywhere to be seen.

SIMON (CONT'D)
You took my blackmail tape! You ruined everything!

ICKIS
Gee, calm down.

SIMON
No! I must--

Someone pounds on the basement door.

MAYOR (OS)
Snyder! Open up!

SNYDER
It's the Mayor! Good Lord, what does he want?

SNYDER puts a cardboard box over the GROMBLE's cage.

SNYDER
(to ICKIS and OBLINA)
Don't you try anything.

SNYDER mounts the stairs and unlocks the door.

SAM
(to ICKIS and OBLINA)
You'd better hide.

ICKIS AND OBLINA hide behind the GROMBLE's box.

ICKIS
Wait a minute--where's Krumm?

OBLINA
He was here a moment ago.

The MAYOR and the POLICE OFFICER enter the basement.

SNYDER
How do you do, Mayor Lindt?

MAYOR
Fine, fine...But you shouldn't leave your front door unlocked like that.

SNYDER
I didn't leave it unlocked.

EXPOSA VIRTOY enters the basement.

VIRTOY
Really? I wonder who did, then.

MAYOR
Mr. Snyder, we recieved a tip-off that you may not even be a certified architecht. I had your blueprint checked out... It seems that your design is unsafe. Do you have an explaination for this?

SNYDER
Well, I--
(he looks at the GROMBLE's box)
--Certainly I do. If you would be so kind as to follow me.

SNYDER leads the others down the stairs and sets the keys on a box.

SNYDER
Mayor Lindt, I have under this box the discovery of the century...

SIMON
Whaaaat? No! You can't! I want to be the first! You can't do this, Snyder!

SNYDER
Be quiet, you babbling idiot.

VIRTOY
And what is the discovery of the century, Mr. Snyder?

VIRTOY motions to SAM, who reluctantly picks up the camera and points it at SNYDER.

SNYDER
I am about to prove the existance of monsters!

VIRTOY
Oh no, not you too!

SNYDER
Mayor Lindt, I feel the need to warn you about the danger everyone in this city faces if we do not restructure the sewers!

MAYOR
Really?

VIRTOY
Don't listen to him, Mayor...this is the same story Simon's been telling everyone for years.

SNYDER
It's true! I'll show you!

SNYDER pulls the box off of the GROMBLE's cage. It is empty. The door is open and there is a large hole in the back of the box. The keys dangle from the cage's lock. SIMON, ICKIS and OBLINA are gone.

SIMON's voice echoes through the sewer pipe.

SIMON (OS)
I'll do it! I'll be the first! You'll see! I'll live in the sewers!

SNYDER
(to everyone)
There was a monster in this cage! I--I'll show you a picture!

SNYDER leans over the attache case and opens it.

SNYDER's view: Inside the attache case. KRUMM belches rudely, and the photo of SANDY CANDY falls out of his mouth.

SNYDER
(screams)

The attache case falls over and KRUMM runs out holding the Monster Manual. He ducks through the pipe.

SNYDER
Monster!

VIRTOY looks in the attache case, and pulls out the photograph of SANDY CANDY.

VIRTOY
I'll say.

OFFICER
Looks like you've got a live one here, Mayor. Shall I take him in?

MAYOR
Right away.

VIRTOY
(to SAM)
Get that all on tape?

SAM
(turning of the camera)
You bet.

SHEILA
So, how'd we do, Exposa?

SAM
Did we find a big enough story?

VIRTOY
Oh--You did fine, I suppose. Of course, I knew about this story myself...but I didn't have a van!

SAM AND SHEILA
Sorry.

VIRTOY
Well, let's get this tape back to headquarters before The Monster--

(holds up photo)

--magically gets the story first.