(un)Official On-Line Catalogue

Greetings, Playmates! Welcome to our glorious website. For all your frivolity needs, QUACKERJACK TOYS is your source. Feel free to partake of our comprehensive listing of fine products--but please mention catalogue number when ordering. And remember: "If it's not a QUACKERJACK toy...it probably isn't any fun."TM

Note: I can't believe this is necessary but...this is not, I repeat, not a serious site. There really is no 'Quackerjack Toys Manufacturing Co.' It is a fictional company invented by the Walt Disney Company. This site is for entertainment purposes only. Do not email me asking to buy toys! You wouldn't believe how often people have done that! And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

ITEM #332755--Rubber Ducky Raft

Originally made famous by a certain orange Muppet, this bathtime favorite has been revamped for our modern day and age. Order now for dry getaways even the police won't believe.

ITEM #980065--Shark-In-The-Box

The deep end's got nothing to do with it this time. A preschool favorite.
Shipping extra.

ITEM #755390--Decapitate-Me Darkwing Doll

Here it is, by popular demand. Satiate your child's need for gratuitous violence with this lifelike replica of a certain annoying personality.
Supplies limited!

ITEM #029534--Terror TeddyBear

Awww...Isn't that sweet? It's a cute, huggable, 90-ft teddy bear. Requires regular flossing.

ITEM #143254--Henchman TeddyBear

Then again, if 90 feet of cuteness is too much for you, this product comes in a two-foot model. Comes with extra claw attachments.

ITEM #864965--Little Red Fire Engine

What little tot wouldn't like to find this prize under the menorah on Chaunnukah? Also available: Fire hose attachment. Sprays real fire. Cold compress not included.

ITEM #786685--Exploding Panda

It's cute, it's cuddly--it's filled with nitoglycerine. Hand wash only.

ITEM #7479278--The Incredibly Dreary Mr. History Doll

Companion product to Mr. Trivia Buff. Highly educational.

ITEM #274063--Mr. Trivia Buff

Companion product to Mr. History Doll. Be the hit of the party.

ITEM #834296--Nutty Putty

For that extra sticky fun. Do not taunt.

ITEM #186430--Motorized Hula Hoop

It's the ultimate workout--and loads of fun too!

ITEM #642075--Giant Krying Krissy Doll

Careful, she wets. ZZZZ battery not included.

ITEM #733400--Giant Inflatable Bobo Punching Bag

Throwing a surprise party? Bring along Mr. Bobo...We guarantee surprise. Extra nitroglycerine packets included.

ITEM #385964--Spring-A-Ling

A timeless classic--it just keeps coming back.

ITEM #738942--Gas-Powered Pogo Stick

When a little hop just isn't enough. Keep away from open flames.

ITEM #218563--Becky Ballerina

Give her a squeeze--and she'll give you a surprise! May cause minor flesh wounds. Tourniquet not included.

ITEM #064842--Fang, the Little Puppy

The first stuffed toy on the market to have a proximity detector. This one is sure to delight the little ones.

ITEM #753976--Giant Wind-Up Cymbal-Playing Roller Gorilla

This one sells itself.

ITEM #000001--Economy-Size Novelty Teeth

A Quackerjack Toys exclusive and still best seller. Now available in packs of ten.

ITEM #851845--Firey Charger

This noble steed of a rocking horse will ensure you a clear path when you pull on his ears.

ITEM #432665--Time Top*

* This item temporarily out of stock.

ITEM #981950--Hypno-Bear

One of the most influential virtual pets to hit the market.

Products marked with a are copyright (c)Cynthia "Sparky" Read, and appear only in her fanfic, fanart, and/or on FDC Muck.

Thank you for visiting our website. We hope you enjoy your purchase, and if you have any questions, feel free to contact our local representative at headquarters. Tell a friend!

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The Quackerjack Toys Manufacturing Co., its logo (just the picture), and all products are copyright (c)Disney, except where noted. The beautiful rendering of the logo on this page is courtesy of Lar. The slogan "If it's not a QUACKERJACK toy...it probably isn't any fun" is mine, but obviously not copyrighted. This page maintained by Cynthia "Sparky" Read.